


Hungover Heart

by nimrod262



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Andy Walker mention, F/M, Finn Macauley mention - Freeform, Jill Valentine mention, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pre-Nivanfield, Secrets, Valenfield - Freeform, finding out about others, getting drunk, writing as therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23838523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimrod262/pseuds/nimrod262
Summary: Immediately following his break-up with Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield finds himself being taken for a drink by Piers Nivans.  It’s a chance for them to find out more about one another, but do they?
Relationships: Chris Redfield/Jill Valentine, Piers Nivans/Chris Redfield
Kudos: 15





	Hungover Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This short is set immediately after my “Smoke Rings in the Dark.” tale, and partners Theosymphany’s “Tendrils of the past.”
> 
> My thanks to Theo for the use of Operator Tango-1.

When I was interviewed by the BSAA's shrink, Tango, Tangent, whatever he was called, he said I should write down my experiences after my break up with Jill. Said it would help my coming to terms with it, like getting it out of my system. Fortunately, I don't remember a lot of it. But I do remember that first night. After the argument, drinking with Piers. So here it is, for what it's worth:

****************************

I remember I spent that first night drowning my sorrows in a smoky bar with Piers Nivans. I remember I did most of the talking, and the drinking! He just sat and listened, the occasional Yes or No, lots of Captains! Christ, why can't he call me Chris for a change! And when I eventually fell over he picked me up and somehow got me back to base. I'm glad he didn't take me back to my house. I had a vague recollection it was a tip. I don't think my Lieutenant would have found it inspirational. Anyway, I'll start at the beginning:

Outside Jill's bungalow, I pull my shoulders back, straighten myself up. I'm Captain Redfield, I do what I want, apparently. I look at Piers and force a grin.

"Come on then Nivans."

"Yes Captain."

He smiles as he takes up position on my right-hand side. Does he know what's in store for him? Do I? I seriously doubt it. He looks so happy, so eager. Everything I'm not.

"What's the plan then Lieutenant?"

"Like I said Captain, I'm taking you for a drink."

"You also said you were buying."

"Of course Captain."

He stops at the corner of the block, does a 360 scan, like he's on point, then takes out his cell and orders a cab. He looks back at me and smiles.

"15 minutes."

I look at him. He's in his sweat stained jogging top and pants. It's the most casual I've ever seen my buttoned-up No.2.

"Oh, I thought you might wanna change?"

"No Captain, that would mean going back to the mess. Better to get a cab here, where it's quiet. Less chance of . . ."

"Of what? Being seen? Scruffy you, dumped me?"

". . . you being embarrassed Captain."

"I can look after myself Lieutenant."

"Not when I'm around, that's my responsibility Sir. That's what a No.2 is for."

I put my hands up.

"Ok, Ok, I'm not gonna argue. 15 minutes you say?"

He nods, so I sit down and reach inside my jacket for my cigarettes. The pack's empty."

"Dammit!"

I look up at him.

"I don't suppose . . . ?"

"Sorry Captain. I never have and never will."

"Have you got any vices Nivans?"

He doesn't answer, but looks at his watch instead.

"Tch! Where's that cab?"

"Ha! That's one you've got. Impatience."

"I just expect other people to do their job Captain. That's all."

"You can't do everything yourself Lieutenant, even if you want to. That's one of my problems, according the the Major back there. Well, that Captain Redfield guy anyways."

"I'm sorry Captain?"

"Jill thinks I'm a hostage to him. Like he's some alter-ego, who always gets what he wants."

"Oh!"

"What do you think?"

"I, I think I respectfully disagree."

"Ha! Disagreeing with the Major! I think she would see that as another vice!"

"Never! Not if it concerns you Captain . . . Ah, good. Here it comes, at last."

He's heard it before it even appears around the corner. Damn, he's good.

I get in the back, whilst Piers gets in the front; telling the driver our destination. I've got more pressing needs."

"Hey, buddy, you got a smoke?"

"Sorry Sir, no smoking in the cab. Company rules."

"Shit! Can't smoke in bars, can't smoke in cabs. What's the world coming too, eh?"

"A healthier place?"

The driver and I both look at Nivans incredulously.

"Excuse my friend, he likes irony."

We drive on in silence for a short while, then stop outside a brightly lit bar. I know it by reputation. The First Chance Saloon. I'm surprised at Nivan's choice, but I don't say anything. I know he's just trying to help. And besides, I really need a drink at this point, more than I need a cigarette. He pays off the cab and we walk to the door.

"Good call No.2, coming here, off-base, outta' town. Not the sort of place people would expect to see us together."

"Sergeant Walker told me about it once. I come here now and again."

"Andy? Ha! Why am I not surprised?"

"Why's that Captain?"

"You do know it's a pick-up joint?"

He looks at me, is he blushing?

"Girls, men, whatever takes your fancy."

He's definitely red now.

"You didn't know did you?"

He shakes his head, but doesn't answer straightaway. My No.2 doesn't like being caught out or embarrassed, but he recovers quickly.

"It was only a short drive Captain, convenient. Besides, it's better . . ."

"Better than what? Taking me to the Mess, or the All Ranks bar? So you chose a place where hopefully I wouldn't be recognized? Somewhere people won't talk if they see another bum get drunk?"

". . . It's better if we have to get a taxi back, you know, don't drink and drive."

"Oh! So you're gonna' get drunk with me then? Hope you got hollow legs Nivans."

"It's not a competition Captain."

"No, perhaps not. Then again, I already lost once tonight. Luck's gotta' change sometime."

". . ."

"What's with the look Lieutenant?"

"Captain?"

"You know damn well, that West-Pointy eye-roll thing you do. You judging me?"

"Never Captain."

"What then?"

"I . . . I'm trying to understand, that's all. Like I said earlier, when I found you outside the Major's. You're kinda difficult to get to know."

"Ha! It took Jill 16 years. And when she finally sussed me out, she didn't like what she'd found."

"I won't do that. Perhaps she, er, Major Valentine I mean, doesn't see what I see."

"And what do you see Lieutenant? With those sharp sniper's eyes of yours? A fake? A hostage to some impossible persona? That's what Jill said she saw."

"I see someone who inspired me to take up a higher cause. When I'd finished with the Army. I see someone who still inspires me. I wouldn't be your No.2 otherwise . . . I couldn't be."

There's a look in his hazel eyes, earnest, trusting . . . devoted?

"I'm a poor choice for a hero Piers. Don't get hung-up on me."

"I, I . . ."

And just when he's lost for words, he's saved by the barman.

"What'll it be gentlemen?"

"Two beers . . ."

He says it quickly, trying to head me off. That ain't gonna happen, not tonight.

"No! Whiskey . . . straight, as it comes, no ice. Two large ones."

"I'd rather have a beer Captain . . . please."

For a brief moment, there's that look again. There's something like pain in it too. But then the sniper's mask returns and it's gone. I shrug my shoulders. Tonight's about me, so I ignore it.

"As you wish Nivans. Ok, you heard the man. Two whiskeys for me . . . and two beers for him."

I hear a slightly disapproving grunt. I look him straight in the eye.

"I hope you're not gonna' argue all night?"

"No Captain, I'm here to listen . . . to help, if I can."

"If I let you, you mean. Ha! You don't have to stand on ceremony tonight Piers."

"You're my superior officer Captain."

"And you're my right hand. Loosen up for once Piers. And please call me Chris, Ok?"

I smile and he nods.

"Yes Captain."

"Goddammit Nivans!"

He colors-up a little, then swiftly changes the subject as my first shot goes down in one.

"So, what happened Sir? Tonight at the Major's? Do you wanna' talk about it?"

"I got dumped, pure and simple."

"Oh! Why would anyone want to dump you? Er, I mean . . ."

"You'd better ask the Major that. Though I had this weird sixth sense something was up. Long story short, we'd grown apart. We . . . No, _I_ was holding her back. Jill wanted a new start and I needed a kick in the pants, you know the kinda' thing."

"Um, not really. Perhaps, when I left the Army, I suppose I'd gradually fallen out of love with it."

"You loved the Army? Ha! And now you love the BSAA?"

"I, I love what it represents."

"Perhaps that's what I loved about the Major."

"You'll find someone soon Captain."

"You reckon? Besides, I don't know if I want to."

"Don't say that. You never know what's around the corner."

"Normally something horrible with eight legs and tentacles trying to kill me!"

"Not with me watching your six. I won't let that happen, ever!"

Wow, anger! My Mr Cool loses it.

"Calm down hot-shot. I was talking meta whatsit . . . fuck, what's the word?"

"Metaphorically?"

"Yeah, probably. Truth is, it's not easy finding a partner. Not in our business."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. You have to make an effort Captain."

"Nah, it's probably best if I give up on love altogether."

"I hope you don't mean that!"

That spark of anger again.

"You gonna' fix me up with someone then Piers? Who you got in mind?"

"Er . . ."

"See? Even you can't think of anyone. Let me give you some advice Lieutenant."

"Please Captain, your advice is always welcome."

"I don't mean about the battlefield. I mean about women."

"Oh . . . um . . ."

"Yeah, I know, perhaps I'm not the best teacher right now, but this is what I've learnt this evening, so listen, whilst it's fresh in my mind."

I order another round for myself. Nivans hasn't even finished his first beer. I order him to drink up. And as I drain my third glass I remember the lines of some song, so I sorta half-sing, half-speak it.

_"Don’t get too high on love, or addicted to her touch."_

"Er, do you mean love or the, um, sex?"

"Hey! I thought you were here to listen, not argue?"

"I'm sorry Captain."

"Nah, it was a fair question. Perhaps I mean sex. Love and sex, they're not the same are they?"

"No Captain."

"No. Well, there ya go. Already my advice is crap!"

"You're still upset. You can't be expected to think clearly."

"I have to do it all the time out there Piers, in the field. People's lives depend on it. You know that. It's just here, at home. I'm like a fish out of water with personal relationships."

He doesn't answer, so I continue.

"Ok, what's next on the not to do list. Oh yeah, the 'it's forever' thing."

I mumble another line from the song.

_"Don’t get hung up on forever, cos there ain't no such."_

He's listening to my every word.

"I thought Jill and I were forever. Something that was just meant to be. Which was great for me. It meant I didn't have to try too hard."

"At what?"

"All that 'relationship' shit."

I do the quotes thing.

"I forgot the basic rule Nivans"

"It takes two?"

"That's the one. You ever wanna relationship Piers, take my advice. Make sure the other person wants it too."

"Um, I'll remember that Captain."

"All stored away huh? That computer you got inside here . . ."

I pat his head.

". . . Neatly filed and cross-referenced."

He blushes.

"Something like that."

"Ha! Good skill set! Wish I had it. You'll have to tell me your little secret one day."

"Captain?"

For a second he looks scared. Poor kid, he's never seen me actually getting drunk before.

"The secret to your . . . Oh, never mind Nivans. All thish talking has made me thirsty."

I jiggle my empty glass on the bar.

"Same again please."

Another couple of bars of the song drift into my consciousness.

_"Don't get strung out on a woman, cos comin down is the hardest part. When she walks away and leaves you, with a hungover heart."_

I put the glass I'm holding up against my chest, then tip it towards him in salute.

"Take my advice Piersh, don't ever get hung up on a woman, or addicted to her love, cos she'll walk away and leave you with a hungover heart."

I walk my fingers along the bar top, tippey-toe.

"Why is it so hard to love a woman Piers? Can you tell me?"

"Er, I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask that Captain."

"Why's that Nivansh? You not interested in sex? You seem kinda ambivalent. Ish it all about the job with you? The whatsit . . . Warrior Monk?"

"There was Merah . . ."

He looks suddenly vulnerable. Even drunk, I realize I've probably overstepped the mark.

"Yeah, shorry Pal . . ."

I pat his knee.

". . . Dear sweet Merah. I thought you were into her for a while."

"She was . . . she was special. To give your life protecting the person . . . you love . . . that takes true courage."

I didn't ask him the obvious question then. If he would sacrifice his life for someone. Perhaps because I wouldn't like the answer.

"How so?"

"We're not hear to talk about me Captain."

"See! You're doin it again."

"Doing what Captain?"

"Dodging the bullet. That sshniper thing. If I don't move, don't make a sound, people won't see me, they'll walk right by. I'll be in . . . invisible . . . well I'm on to you Piers Nivansh. You don't fool me."

I point a shaking finger at him.

"I don't want to fool you Captain. I want to understand you."

"Ha! Fat chance, given I don't even understand myself. I got way better camouflage than you Snipey. I got Captain Redfield. No one sees through him. Me, the guy inside . . . Pfft, I don't even know if I actually exist."

"I know you do, somewhere, inside you."

"Then you got more faith in me than I do."

"We all have faith in you Captain. It's just the drink clouding your mind."

"Ya think so? Well in the morning you'll still be Mr Cool, calm and collectable, er, collected. Ha, ha! Me? I'll be hungover . . . and still broken hearted, or something. A hungover heart, yeh, that's it. That's what I got Mister."

"Things will get better Captain. I'll help you."

"Hmm? We'll see. You can help me now by buying me another shot."

"You've had a lot already."

"You counting Nivans? Ha! Of course you are. Tick, tick, tick in that computer you got for a brain. Must be a real bitch being my No.2, huh? Well, all I can say is you knew what you were getting into. I'm not gonna' apo . . . apple . . . apologize."

"I wasn't looking for an apology Captain. Being your No.2, it's all I've ever wanted."

"Really? Then you should raise your sights Lieutenant. The BSh . . . BSA . . . A . . . them, they need you. For the future."

"I serve the BSAA by serving you Sir."

"Very noble . . . is that the right word? And talking of serving, where's my whiskey? Bar Tender!"

"Yes Sir?"

"Another whiskey, and one for my noble No.2 here."

No, really Captain . . .

"I insisht. And keep 'em comin, till I say shtop."

"Yes Sir."

"See Piersh, perks of being a Captain. You should try it sometime."

"I'm very happy where I am right now Captain."

"Ha! So was I, but the Major said I was in a rut. You wanna' be in a rut with me? Ruts are bad Nivans. So are all the other things I do. Allegedly. Who'd a thunk it? Jill . . . that's Major Valentine to you by the way Lieutenant . . . don't go upsetting her, and I should know. Well I do now . . . where was I? Oh yeh, Major Jill has a list of do's and don'ts and donuts, hehe. So do nut do what I don't. Understand Kiddo?"

He nods silently. We carry on like this for quite a while. Me burbling in-between rounds, him listening attentively. He's a good listener, a reflector. But he doesn't have the experienced answers I need, not that I have that many myself. So I begin to formulate a plan. To disappear, off the radar, wallow in some good old fashioned self-pity perhaps? I puff my chest out. Decision time. Better tell him now, whilst I can still speak.

"Ahem, lishen-up Piersy. I've made a decishion. I'm gonna leave you in charge. For a jush a few days. Don't take any bullshit from Andy. Oh, and get the new rookie in bed . . ."

"Sir?"

Another strange look.

"Now what!"

"I think you mean bedded-in Captain, not er, in bed . . . there's a difference."

"Oh yeah, Ha! Don't let 'em hear you say that in thish place, they might get the wrong idea . . . What's hish name again? The Rookie. Flynn Mackerel?"

"Macauley Captain, Finn Macauley."

"Thas what I said . . . Mackle whatsit . . . I knew it was somethin' to do with fish."

"Huh?"

"Fin . . . like on a fish. Geddit?"

I make a swimming movement with both hands, taking care not to spill my drink. At last, a smile.

"Heh, heh, very amusing Sir. It's Finn actually. F, I, double N. You've got quite a sense of humor when you're . . ."

"Pissed?"

"No, you shouldn't be so defensive Captain. I was going to say relaxed, off-duty."

"Major Valentine didn't think I wash funny. Well, not anymore she does."

"You see Sir, doing yourself down again. You should feel better about yourself."

"You mean I have low self-esteem?"

"I mean you should let the real you come through, not just the Captain, Captain."

"She said that too. She said lots of things. Lishen, you gotta hold the fort for me, Ok? Whilst I'm, whatever."

"You mean look after Alpha, in-abstentia?"

"Ahh, good word. Greek? You're always so precise. Don't be hard on them Piersh. And don't tell 'em anything, bout me and the Major . . . Andy probably knows by now anyway. Dunno how he does it, crafty little bastard! Keep those pouty lipsh of yours sealed Ok? Ha, ha!"

The pouty lips pout, then he nods.

"Good man . . . did you move just then? No? Well something sure as hell did . . . !"

I try and stand up.

". . . Whee!"

The bar moves away and the floor comes up to meet me. Then there's the familiar coppery taste of blood in my mouth, but I'm not sure if it's a busted lip or my broken heart bleeding. Fortunately, everything goes black before I have to make a decision. And just as the lights wink out, I hear a voice somewhere in the distance, shouting in alarm . . .

"CAPTAIN!!!"

****************************

And that was it. The last thing I remember that night, and pretty much for the next three days. If Agent Tango want's to know, he'll have to ask Piers Nivans. And good luck with that!

Has it helped me? I have absolutely no idea. Jury's out on that one. But re-reading it, it's made me realize one thing. My No.2 might think I'm kinda difficult to get to know. But him? He's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. And one day, when I've straightened myself out, I'm gonna get some answers.

I'm Chris Redfield, and I do what I want.

**Author's Note:**

> Chris quotes from the Gary Allan song, ‘Hungover Heart’ Written by Joseph Matthew Warren and James Leblanc, © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner/Chappell Music, Inc. My thanks.


End file.
